It was a hot, humid night of July 11, 2002. I was stormed around Manhattan, New York, in my two-door white Mercedes Benz CL600 by my friend Craig Boogie, when we pulled out a club in front of a busy night.
"Jamila went with me for a moment." - Craig smiled, jumping out of the car and went to the passenger door, signaling that I was leaving.
"No, Craig, I'm not going to go in for any club tonight." I categorically responded by folding back the seat and closing my thin, caramel-toned face with my large black designer glasses.
Craig kept begging for me to come, but I fired him, rolled my window and picked up the radio. Seeing that it was a hopeless reason, Craig entered the club without me. I assumed that he was only going to make a quick stop, but a few minutes passed and Craig was still not back. I phoned several times without answering.
Excited, I got out of the car, locked the door, and angrily continued to make my way into the filled nightclub. When I entered the building, I heard loud familiar voices: “SURPRISE, happy birthday!”
Hugs and kisses greeted me from my friends, who were mostly celebrities and leaders of the music industry. I felt honest and respected because they all treated me like a queen that night. I was 25 years old and a multi-millionaire. I got to the point that I realized was a true success. I became a little girl from the suburbs of Jamaica Queens, New York to become a well-known, respected business woman. I lived in a prestigious gated community in North, New Jersey. I had an elite collection of luxury cars and enough diamond jewelry and fur coats to fill the store. In my opinion, I was determined for life. Unfortunately, my success was soon.
On July 16, 2008, just six years later, I stood before Judge José Linares in the Newark Federal District Court in New Jersey, awaiting sentencing on charges of bank fraud. My past suddenly caught up with me. What I perceived as a common business shortened my life and ruined my business.
My heart began to chase, as I waited for the judge to impose his sentence on me. It's been five years since my federal investigation. I anxiously wanted to end the five-year nightmare that I encountered. In a few minutes this long saga will be over, I thought, when I quietly uttered the Psalms 23.
"I hereby sentence you to 151 months in federal prison and 5 years of probation." Judge Linares, a plump, mid-level Cuban-American (who could have passed for White) announced that he had hit with a wooden mallet.
Inside, I was instantly numb. I tried to put it together to calculate how many years it was equivalent to 151 months. “Twelve and a half years, oh, this is insane!” I said, as a refuge came to take me into custody.
I was given a few minutes to remove a 4 carat diamond ring, a diamond tennis bracelet and a matching chain, as well as a diamond watch. I tucked my expensive jewels into a Louis Vuitton bag, as well as the keys to the new Escalade, which I recently purchased. I brought myself to court, definitely not expecting him to be sent to federal prison. When I handed over my belongings to my lawyer, as well as a ticket for a car for my car, which was parked in the municipal parking lot of the court, his face turned bright red. It was clear that he was also taken by surprise and could not believe that the judge sentenced me to ten years behind bars.
At one point, I made a huge transformation. I had to remove the clothes and shoes for the designers, and I was handed the overalls for khaki mattresses and red shoes with blue skips. That can't be, I thought to myself. In no time, I went from a free woman to a federal prisoner # 59253-053. I really was my worst nightmare!
Deprived of all the worldly details I hid from my insecurity, I looked into a small rusty mirror in my prison cell. Instantly I hated the reflection of the image I saw. Filled with pounds of guilt and shame, I was overwhelmed and discouraged. When the prison doors closed behind me, I felt that my life was over!
Day after day, I was wallowing in my negative thoughts, playing up my funerals in my mind. Enclosed in a prison cell size of 5 1/2 x 9, I had no one to lean on or turn around. I was trapped! With excitement and sadness, my life flashed before my eyes. I thought about all the things I did and all the people I tried my best to please. Even more disappointing, I was abandoned by those whom I considered really friends. The sharp pain of pain and frustration repeated continuously, making me realize how unreasonable superficial things I so pursued after that.
Desperate for desperation, I reached for the Bible, which the women gave me in the next cell. For countless hours I read. On each page that I finished, the stronger I seemed to receive. In the darkest place of my life, through the word of God, I could see the light. For the first time in many years, I was calm enough to still listen to the inner voice that served me. Instantly I was convicted. I knew that in order to survive my long journey, I had no choice but to change my ways and follow the path that God wanted for me.
This trip was not easy, but I can say that with God's grace I did it! Today, six years later, I see things differently than before. Through my mistakes, I realize the importance of education and hard work. My experience has taught me that we consider short, always turning out to be a long wrong route!
Behind the bars I had to raise children from the visiting room in prison. My son was 11 years old when I was first imprisoned. In June of this year, he graduated from high school, which was one of many unforgettable events that I missed. Not only did I have to suffer, my family also had to be pained for my mistakes.
After paying a heavy price for my actions, I understand that it was never worth jeopardizing my freedom! I am sharing my story with you so that you can listen to my message and learn from my mistakes. No matter how desperate you may seem, or how easily you think you need to do this, avoid crime at all costs! Which ever you cut it off will eventually catch you! So stay in school, get your education and passionately follow your dreams. In the end, hard work will pay off and they won’t be killed. Take it from me, the crime just does not pay, so DO NOT DO THIS!
